Life Changing

So very many people want their lives to be different-me among them.
But the obvious secret, not even hidden among words, is for your life to change
You must change.  Most people want to change things, not themselves and who can blame them...changing is hard work fraught with trial and error, but...but...BUT things don't change.  I mean a chair is a chair.

Simply stated, to change things in your life, you must change.  From simple changes to complex life altering changes. No, you don't have to go that far- well, maybe You do, but I don't.  Simple changes change a lot.  Smile more, simple enough. Speak about things you usually keep to yourself -awkward but life altering for sure.  Go to a different place, like taking your coffee to the park instead of your favorite seat in the corner.  Carry a balloon until you find a child to give it to.  Any of these changes will change your life.  Will it bring the change you desire? I have no idea, but I'm willing to give it a try.

Unaltered Original

I wonder how life has changed me? Certain events-like a costly fire and conscious awareness-like determination to start a certain career, as well as calculated game plans-like college. Not perfect examples, but they'll do for now.

What about intentional changes, vegetarianism, tattoos, ear piercings? Those too change us and how we are perceived by and interacted with by the world. How about unintentional changes like car accidents, injuries and/or rape? What about jobs, clothing, sleeping patterns, partners, intentional or unintentional children? Human change can have infinite sources and causes.

What is the unaltered original? A valuable commodity in any marketable item, cars, antiques, but what about people? Can a person be an unaltered original beyond the age of say, five? Unlikely.  Fifteen-highly unlikely,  so, which changes were part of the grand design? Crawling, walking, eating, talking-that's good for a start. Educated? To what extent and in which fields? No, doesn't meet the criteria, too many variables.

What then is the unaltered original you?

Rethinking Becoming an Actress

At the age of 22 of was offered a role in a major motion picture.  I held a check for $50,000 in my hand and in an act of wise determination, I tore it up do that I couldn't change my mind-becoming an actress would have been the death of me. Drugs and alcohol were everywhere I looked and I wasn't any good at saying no anyway.  For decades, I was totally certain I'd made the right choice.

So, what's changed? As it turns out, I must be a damn good actress. For the past ....um."few years I have been pretending that I'm all right when in fact, I have tears running down my face as I text that I'm fine. So fine...somewhere between bringing the positive, trusting God and feeling guilty about feeling sorry for myself-some people have it much worse, much much worse.  According to that gauge, I really am.  Or, or-perhaps more likely, they just pretend they don't know, think I am a bummer and just keep contact to a minimum. Yeah, that could be it all right.  Either way, it doesn't really change a thing, now does it?

Someday, maybe even someday soon, this will all be a memory and I won't mind the "industry" giving themselves yet another award- because fame and fortune really aren't enough to compensate them for their amazing acting.

The Real Mystery of Christmas

Many people believe they know the mystery of Christmas.  I know the miracle of Christmas, though I didn't think it was much of a mystery since, well, they wrote it in the most popular book in the history of the world, sing songs about it and have many religions all claiming to have the corner on it.  I certainly won't claim to know more about the birth of Christ than any other believer, no.

The true mystery of Christmas is, who likes fruit cake.  We've all heard the jokes about it.  I even met a woman who made them, tons of them, every year, so I have solved the mystery of where they come from.  The real mystery is who eats them?  Someone must, otherwise where are they? I have never heard anyone admit to liking it, or admitting to even tasting it, much less actually eating it,   But someone somewhere must love it.  Who is this person or persons? Why do they remain silent? Is there such a social stigma associated with it that they fear exile?

In this day and age where a person's sexuality demands recognition we have this one secret remaining?  Perhaps they are part of a secret society? Perhaps we should support their coming out? Perhaps, just perhaps, there are more people secretly eating and loving fruit cake than there are American voters? Until they admit it, we'll just never know.